Quiet! Mom Has A Headache!

By: Kelly Samuels

 

I remember the first time I saw this commercial and how much the kids reminded me of my own.

I just wished that the medicine worked that quickly for me.

I am one of the 38 million Americans who suffer from migraines.

Migraines aren’t just quick and easily treated by a couple tylenol.

They are debilitating. Every sound, smell, step and shred of light is agonizing and nauseating. I have blind spots in my vision which makes walking, let alone driving, a dangerous task. The pain in my head feels like someone striking me with a hammer non-stop for hours sometimes days.

As I retreat to a quiet dark corner and lock myself away from my children, husband, and the rest of the world while I wait for it to pass, I am overwhelmed not just with the pain of my migraine but with guilt.

Guilt over losing another day with my kids. Guilt over leaving my husband to handle all of the household duties and care for the kids by himself. Guilt over missing my daughter’s dance recital or son’s baseball game. Guilt over the knowledge that my kids are trying to play more quietly and subdued so they don’t disturb me. Guilt over barely talking to my husband for days while I hide away. Guilt over something I have no control over but badly wish I did.

Even though I know that I have worked hard to prevent the migraines by changing my diet, taking vitamins and supplements that are rumored to help, exercising more, and taking prescription medication, I feel like a failure. Like I should have been able to prevent it somehow.

My doctor, husband, and even my children, as they get older and understand more, all tell me that it isn’t my fault. That there is nothing to be done but to hope that the Imitrex will work in keeping the headache away when I first feel it coming on. But that doesn’t lessen the guilt when I’m losing the battle to the migraine pain. Losing that precious time with my family.

I’m hopeful that one day doctors will understand more about these headaches and find a more permanent cure. But until then, I’ll treasure the good days that I get to spend pain-free with my family and hope that the guilt goes away when I miss the other days.

Leave a Reply