Confessions of a “Guilty” Working Mom

Confessions of a “Guilty” Working Mom
June 14, 2016 Our Circle of Moms

By: Danielle McFadden

maxresdefaultThis week I am transitioning from maternity leave back to working full time. As my maternity leave came to end the feelings of guilt started to creep in (along with a tear or two). It got me thinking about the pressure we, as moms, face when working outside the home.  The constant push and pull we feel to not only be the kind of wife and mother that we grew up with (June Cleaver), but also the type of women that our parents, coaches and teachers encouraged us to be… independent, hardworking, successful… The kind of woman who “has it all”. 

“Having it all”—whatever that means— is a seemingly impossible state of being because we’re always going to feel guilty no matter how hard we try not to. The type of guilt that only a mother puts on herself. Guilty that we are not home with our kids. Guilty if we put our baby down to play while we get ready for work. (Shouldn’t we be getting our cuddles in while we are actually home to do so?) Guilty if we want to get a pedicure on Saturday morning when the whole family is home together. Guilty if we have a function after work and won’t get to tuck our kids into bed that night. Guilty if dinner isn’t on the table because there is nothing substantial in the fridge (or we’re too darn tired). Guilty if the house isn’t spic and span. And heaven forbid if we put the TV on for the kids so we can get a little work done around the house.

Essentially, we as moms, feel guilty because we can’t be OUR MOM and a career woman in unison. It’s impossible. 

So for now, I’m going to try to be deliberate about choosing when to push and when to pull. And hopefully, I can have some great moments like the one I experienced last night, when returning home to my two kids, Zoe (2.5 years old) and Landry (3 months old) so excited to see their mom and totally unaware of the guilt that I put on myself. Simply happy to have a ‘picnic’ dinner on the living floor while I read them a dozen books and smothered them with more kisses than I can count. Life is good— no GREAT – and doing the best I can do for my kids, my family and myself is nothing to feel guilty about. 

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