January 26, 2015 at 1:20 pm #3879
I have a 16 year old daughter and she is very fond of snap chat and Instagram. She is always taking selfies and sharing them with friends via social media. I’m a big social media user myself, so I’m not put off by her use of these platforms. This just seems like one way kids communicate with each other today.
However, recently she’s started taking selfies that are more provocative in nature and I am concerned. They aren’t inappropriate – well, I guess it is a judgment call. Its kind of the way I feel about teenage girls and their choices of clothing. I don’t approve of some of the choices my daughter makes with clothes, but I’m a 50 year old male and I tend to be pretty conservative. So, I tell myself that this is a tricky area and that I am being subjective.
My plan, and I’ve been thinking about it all weekend, is to speak with her later this week about how uncomfortable I am with some of the photos she’s posting. I plan to do it in a very calm manner. But I will let her know I worry about her safety and her impression. I know she wants to look grown up in photos. I get that. But these photos just aren’t appropriate. Again, that’s me being subjective.
Any thoughts? I welcome your input. Kids are growing up way too fast these days. Thanks for listening.
- This topic was modified 5 years, 9 months ago by cooldad.
January 26, 2015 at 9:26 pm #3891
Although this was directed for kids a little bit younger than your daughter, it still has a good message.
A middle school teacher wanted to show her students just how quickly things you post on the internet can spread. She posted a message and within hours her message had spread across the US and to different several other countries. It’s easy to think you’re only sharing your photos with your friends or people you know, but in reality you have no idea who can see your pictures and once they’re online, even if you delete them, they’re online for good!
It may not mean much to her now, but there’s nothing stopping colleges and employers from looking at her profiles to see what she’s posting and she wouldn’t want an “inappropriate” photo as a 16 year old to be the reason why she misses out on a good opportunity.
January 27, 2015 at 7:18 pm #3903
I’ve recently ran into a similar issue with my 17 year old daughter. Our “cloud” linked up and some pictures that were on her phone uploaded onto the computer and I was a little taken aback by them. By today’s standards they weren’t overly inappropriate, but I don’t think they were pictures that she intended to be seen by the whole family (i’m assuming her boyfriend.)
I wanted to talk to her about it in a way that let her know that I wasn’t mad or forbidding her to stop, but in a way that let her know that I was concerned and wanted her to really think about what she was doing. I asked her to think about what would happen to those pictures if she broke up with her boyfriend? Would he delete them, would he share them to get back at her, would he use them against her somehow? I also asked if her if that’s how she wants to been seen by guys- a girl that’s only there to be looked at.
I think she appreciated our conversation and the fact that I didn’t come in ready to punish her. She felt like the decisions were up to her and she shared that she wasn’t going to be sending anymore “personal” pictures or snapchats anymore.
A good rule of thumb- don’t send anything you wouldn’t want your grandmother to see!
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